Resolutions of Life

Drama here. Drama there. It's really scary these days, especially these days, to see people we used to looked up to or admired or even respected...to be someone darker. A lot darker.

The thing that separates me from the majority. Nah, i doubt i have such a thing going for me. --- Lockdown is easing up but i am still working from home. It's better for me anyways. Nowadays i am unmotivated to the point that i don't check my work mails daily anymore. I just do it when i know that there is something going on that involves me. I say that but i keep getting involved in things i am not sure why i would be. Guess my boss thought i was too free. It's to the extent that some days, i would get so many phone calls, the caller would get the idea i am unhappy by the third call. Even if i did not change my tone. Even if i did not flare up. Still looking forward to quit soon. Even if the wait to that day is torturous. ...but i am sure it will be painful for some. Painful the way i hope they would feel.

Weird dream. I was in some kind of resort/theme/amusement park. It was during morning? Or was it the evening? The colour of the set was yellowish orange. I seemed to be waiting for some kind of event...but after some time, i took a walk around the place. It has a tropical feeling to the place. Like a water park. Halfway through, i saw a friend walking towards my direction. He was a colleague who left my current workplace a little more than half a year ago. As i was raising my hand to wave, he turned to his right into a shop. I have no idea what it meant. ...and i woke up. It was 4.30am.

Hmm. Mmm. Mmm... --- Honestly, i came in here blind today. Don't really have much in my head that i think is worthy of writing down here. I'll let the quality of the post be the judge of that. Let's talk body and health. Both of which are going to hell because of the lockdown. I haven't been active physically since the lockdown began. At least before, i could visit the gym but at home when everyone is around, there is not a lot of things i can do without disturbing others. Noticeably, i can see myself getting fatter and my chin is starting to sag a little. Daily trips to get food also got me noticing that i am perspiring much easier. So the talk about diet being the top priority is not as true, considering that i am eating (slightly) healthier and skip dinner entirely. This diet style has been for months. I am really used to not having dinner now. Cleaned my room 2 days ago. Spent only half an hour moping it and i can feel my lower back ache. The aching ...

Ok, i'll do just Anime and Manga stuff for today. Fun stuff only. --- I think after watching Hidan no Aria AA, i became really, really fascinated with the Shoujo Ai genre, or love between girls. Feels like the cutesy stuff is kind of what i need. ...but the real cake was Maria-same ga Miteru . Or the Virgin Mary Watches Over You . It's a kind of old anime from 2006, with the setting in a religious all-girls school as a Slice of Life type of anime. Honestly, i wouldn't be able to imagine myself watching this kind of anime in the past. Yet now that i finished all 4 seasons, i find myself wanting more of it. The sister-love dynamic between the elder Sachiko and the younger Yumi really grew on me. Ano Natsu de Matteru , or Waiting for You that Summer is another interesting romance anime that features love between a visiting alien and a teenage boy, with a centipede-like love triangle . Except it is not really a triangle. Girl A loves Guy B and vice versa, Girl C loves G...

Things that can go wrong, will go wrong. --- That's about how i feel today. I really don't want to work at where i am working now. Pfffft.