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These hands shall never hold anything dear.

---

How long should a person try a particular endeavor before deciding that it is time to give up?

Or maybe, in what circumstances should a person decide to finally give up on a dream? Or a goal? Or even if it is something short-termed?

Does the length of how long someone tried matter? If you invested more time into making things work, does it mean you should keep at it until you finally succeed?

Even if it means spending your entire life and succeeding only at your final moments?

I am sure, for some, these are trivial questions. There are probably more people who are willing to keep at it until they fade away than to give up.

Personally, i feel that it takes more courage to give up than to relentlessly focus on dreams.

The idea of an impossible dream, that effort and time may someday make it possible, is a romantic and noble idea. However, i feel that it also means that one will never try to make things work from other perspectives - they would have no reason to ever understand things from outside of their own hopes and dreams.

Giving up, on the other hand, meant that one is destroying his/her own beliefs that they had been building and accumulating for however long they persisted.

...and start from zero again.

---

Almost 30 years in age. I've never really had a real dream or goal that spans my future life.

You can say that i took the path that was easiest to adapt to. It doesn't matter how easy or difficult it is to walk on that path - that was not a point of consideration ever.

It was about how easy it is to get on that path.

Not about the easiest path. Rather, it is about the ease of getting to a path. Then from there, adapt.

So, now i am about to make some decisions i am not use to making. Scares the hell out of me.

I seldom run away from my problems. I believe that if i do, i will keep running away from it.

I believe that if i did, it'd dash my own confidence. I'd always keep "running away" as a card in my hand now.

...but i really think that now my only option is to run. Even if it is into nothingness.

Something inside me agrees. Something else does not.

Feels like a war happening inside me at all times. At the end of it, an answer.

I can only hope it will end before this break is over.

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