Who can really tell me that i know what i wanted when i chose to join? Myself.

Who can really tell me that i am liking or disliking what i am currently doing? Me.

...so it feels weird that i was struck verbally twice today by superiors.

The first, more senior guy, said that i should not join because i "had no other choice". That would have represented the doom of the organization.

I really, really wanted to shout and just ask him if he had been jobless for 6 months in the recent years, with a non-specialized degree.

I really do...but i would lose my job in an instant. At least, that's my guess of what would happen.

The later part of the day sees a lady questioning what i said about why i chose the place to work in.

My answer was more of a joke, that the place chose me, rather than it being a choice of mine.

The lady claimed that she's worried for people like me...and i was the only one that was outstanding in a bad way.

Again, i felt like i was being short-changed.

---

If i had to ponder about the circumstances, i feel that i did not answer wrongly. Rather, those were questions without a right answer.

However, i desperately wanted to convey that the period when i was jobless was absolutely horrible. Bad enough for me to want a change of field.

I do miss the technical field i used to be in. Physics. I feel that it is in my blood. I will gladly wear the title of a "Physicist" with pride.

I would never claim that i am a physicist because of my knowledge in the topics, though.

I am a physicist because when i see something i am not sure of, i really want to tear it apart and understand how it works.

That is the attitude that i want to bring into the organization.

That is how i wish to be accepted. Not because i am a Second Class Upper in my degree (No one really cares anymore).

...and i am liking what i am doing now.

No one can tell me otherwise.