Resolutions of Life

In Camp Training ended a little while ago in the afternoon. It was a pretty chill exercise unlike the usual. I don't get to hang with the usual battalion since this is a make-up training in lieu of the deferred one in June months ago. So i took the chance to do whatever i missed in the previous sessions. --- Day 1 was pretty chill and purely administrative. It is a lot of moving of stuff over here and there. Got to see a few people who too, deferred from the main body. I got to say, having them around is reassurance for the whole period. Got a brief of the training and had a little giggle. Training program wants us to go and dig holes, which is something a lot of us will never have to do since we are in a formation that don't need it...but ah well. The day was pretty much in the bunk doing nothing. I have never burnt so much data off my phone before. --- Day 2 started with the standard fire drill. I was one of the designated fire-fighter and so am required to ta...

Exams ended. This marks the start of my final vacation break for my university life. Unfortunately it'll be disrupted by National Service 2 weeks later. I don't feel like doing anything now, even though my FYP looms in front of me. The weather has been pretty chilly too and that puts me in a real sleeping mode. I don't have as much as i wanted to say. Guess this is it for this post.

That is a really long two months break. Well almost anyway. Things are pretty...normal now? I can't really tell since everything felt confusing to me at this point. Oh yeah, my finals for this semester starts in 3 days. Not really feeling confident but my midterm marks should make up for all the possible losses. I have been pretty angry at certain things lately, such as a friend betraying my expectations. You know how people preferred to form groups with people they know? Well, not for me anyways. I'll go as far as to say that the better the friendship, the more i try to avoid forming a team. When i do form a team with people i know, i set my standards for them based on what i already know about them. If he/she is someone i trusts a lot, i'll be handing more work to them. It didn't work out this time for whatever the reasons i can think of. It was actually pretty ironic because i joined this team to reduce responsibility on my part, that i can focus more on my F...

A month had passed by just like that. Between that period was...a mid-term for Biology, some FYP ideas and lessons with juniors. --- Biology is actually a decently interesting subject. Although the chemistry part was pretty dreaded but still necessary, once i got used to the conventions it is pretty straight forward. Nothing much to worry about there. --- FYP was progressing pretty smoothly. Although not much can be done now, the direction of how the study will be conducted is pretty much decided. Work can finally commenced. --- Lab sessions with my juniors were ok in general, some were problematic but overall, it is manageable. I'd actually prefer teaching these juniors over my past students since, conversations were so much more related and interesting. --- Ah, can't think of much else to say. Well, actually i do but i don't particularly fancy discussing matters of the heart now. Take care.

School has started. This is the Friday of the second week. I've gone full steam with my FYP project, meeting up with my supervisor and coming up with a proper scope and research theme. Some of my ideas were deemed too radical and needs some change so it is more...appropriate. I guess i can live with those editing. I've also started teaching at the first year lab. It is pretty interesting to be seeing new students doing their experiments just like how i did mine years back. I have to say, though, that it is a little bit disheartening to see some students getting burnt out by the stress to the point where they wish to withdraw from the school. Other than that, school's been great.

Tonight marks the end of the Golden Jubilee in Singapore. More relevant to me, it ends the final summer break of my period in university. The final study year would begin. I have some mixed feelings about this: A little bit of excitement mixed with a little bit of fear. I just thought that a lot of things in my life right now is really blurry and i cannot see clearly the end to them. ...but i have to try and end them. --- On another note, if you've ever let someone go and expel them from your life, don't ever try looking them up to see how they are. The feeling sucks.

Internship presentation today. It might be the worst presentation i have ever done. I noticed that if the person i am presenting to don't even listen, then i won't even bother trying to give my all. I stutter and laze throughout the whole presentation. I was given 25 minutes to do my presentation, but ended up using only 5 minutes. I got the chance to look at my watch and lie by the lecturer's table, but the professor supervising seldom look at me anyways so i guess it didn't matter at all. What a long day.

I went for my first FYP discussion with a professor today. I have a pretty clear idea of what is required to be done, just that i am still not sure that what it will accomplish. It was a pretty interesting conversation about relativity and the methods of teaching it. However, somehow i found myself with a final exam paper which seems to me i need to do. Oh well. Tomorrow is the internship presentation. I can't even tell if i feel like giving my all. Blah~

I bought a laptop for $1000 using my own money i got through the internship and selling some of my old, no-longer-using-as-much consoles. It's a Lenovo Y50 which really considered to be a gaming laptop. It has been performing pretty impressive so far, whether is it aesthetically or gaming performance wise. As a result, i've decommissioned my old desktop. It had served me 5 long years and i think it deserved its break. I am in the process of selecting my FYP topic. It is a little difficult to do so because there are so many interesting ones but eventually i'll have to choose. Let's start by talking to a few supervisors first.

The internship is finally over. Now only the oral presentation is left and i don't really feel like making the slides yet. My studies are also changing based on the new requirements for the new specialization. After the discussion with the faculty manager, my load this upcoming semester will be lighter but the later semester will be slightly challenging. Meanwhile, the FYP selection timing is 5 weeks. I need to find a supervisor then. The difficulty is choosing a topic because there are so many interesting ones. Oh...i am already feeling stressed. --- On a side note, i am thinking of getting a new laptop for the project. Just waiting for a properly priced one.

It was days like this where screams reached the skies A song that seemingly calms the heart but instead hurts it. A grip that tightens whenever there is desire to be free Yet only chains remain. Sometimes when we scream, we fade away. ...but the world seemed happier without caring.

It is the final phase of my internship. I slowly felt the nothingness of doing nothing (What?) However, some things are picking up. I've started to write my report. Although there was some difficulty in finding time to write it, by a twist of luck i managed to write it during work. Hence, my report is more or less done...the more important parts of it, anyways. I guess i have lesser things to say than i think i had.

It has been a day when i spent most of it thinking about the past. Specifically, when i was studying in secondary school. I thought of that someone whom i had a crush on for the longest of time. It's weird to be thinking of her all of a sudden, i know. Perhaps it has something to do with the bunch of photos flooding my Facebook feed about a couple from the same secondary school getting married. They had a wonderful story to. The gentleman actually got rejected a few times...but he persevered and eventually got together. They maintained the relationship through thick and thin for a period of about 10 years and finally communed this day. It was magnificent. Unfortunately, not everyone can achieved what they want no matter. Some things just can't be no matter how much effort you put in. You can feel despair, cry and scream all you want but the world is going to move on not giving a damn to how you feel. The hardest thing for me with regards to that lady was deciding whethe...

Words haunt the mind of late. If you pull the sword out a heart, can the voices of the past still be heard? Strokes of darkness that rise and fall The baleful black that defies the lord Of the shadow Of the darkness Of the abyss Come forth and stand in front of me Present your honor and faith Put your heart to the test ...and if the darkness creep through, what is left to stop the infestation? What is left after the darkness takes its food? What is left at the end of the world? What is left at the end of time? What is left?

3 months. Wow. I can't really believe that it has been that long. Needless to say, a lot had passed me. I am now doing my internship. Life has been pretty kind to me so far...which probably means something is wrong. Just putting this here to tell people i'm still alive. Well, people who cared anyways. Some other day...

Let me start with saying that i am sorry for neglecting this for a really long time. No excuses, i was not even busy during the term time. Although, i should say that it has been pretty interesting for me so far. --- I have made the decision to take Quantum Mechanics 3 as my first year 4 module. It's one thing about no choice, another when i want to redeem the poor grade i have attained for module 2. I know how people avoid taking such modules when they scored poorly but i sure am not going to let it stay at that grade. The class had a mix of year 4 and year 3 students so it has been going really bad. Especially when a few of the seniors stand out as really intelligent people who ask a ton of questions in class that i do not understand much of it. Fast forward to this date, the mid-terms for the module was already over. I felt like i did not do too bad. --- Another interesting event would be the attending of a National Service course for my promotion requirement. The co...

The first post of the year shall detail what i want to do for the year. 1) Try to exercise and keep fit. 2) Try not to spend too much on needless stuff. 3) Try to establish a better network for work. That is basically it. I mean it is a holiday today. What more do you want out of me?