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I do not have much to say this time about what is going on. It is mainly just a post to discuss what has been on my mind.

I am a little mentally ill. Or maybe a lot. The extent of this mental illness is unknown to me but since i can clearly feel what is wrong about it, i suppose it is quite severe.

I have a very strong desire to compete with others. You can read that as a need to compare.

To compare myself with another. To ensure i am always the better one. To know that i always have more. Something among those lines.

It bugs the crap out of me to know that i lost to someone. Be it in games, in academics or in work. It really does.

I find this troubling. Probably a result of that superiority complex formed back in college where i am the best, now when things are not as good as the past i find it absolutely stressful.

I really need to stop thinking in such a manner.

---

That is all for today. I do have exams coming up this week so laters.

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