Resolutions of Life

Exams for the special semester ended on Friday. Overall i think i did not do badly. Vacation modules are easier to handle. I started to plan for my modules for the remaining time in school. It is a little hard to do so since it would mean that i need to find out about all the other course requirements before hand. They might also be updated with new requirements as time goes by. --- Went out with the old friends from college yesterday. Had buffet and watched a movie after that. I have never eaten so much meat for a really long time. The movie was not bad too. --- Time to rot until i had to return to camp next week.

I do not have much to say this time about what is going on. It is mainly just a post to discuss what has been on my mind. I am a little mentally ill. Or maybe a lot. The extent of this mental illness is unknown to me but since i can clearly feel what is wrong about it, i suppose it is quite severe. I have a very strong desire to compete with others. You can read that as a need to compare . To compare myself with another. To ensure i am always the better one. To know that i always have more. Something among those lines. It bugs the crap out of me to know that i lost to someone. Be it in games, in academics or in work. It really  does. I find this troubling. Probably a result of that superiority complex formed back in college where i am the best, now when things are not as good as the past i find it absolutely stressful. I really need to stop thinking in such a manner. --- That is all for today. I do have exams coming up this week so laters.

Since the last post 2 weeks ago, reasonably many things happened and passed. It is already the last week of the Special Term and in a few hours time, the last lecture will take place. ...but let's talk things one by one. --- First to start off would be the mid-terms happening. It was easily one of my worse mid-terms ever in school. I was sick with high fever, cough and flu, heavy on medications and did my examinations in a half-asleep state. This would come back and haunt me in short time... For a good example, only during my second test i realised that i answered the formatted answer sheet in a wrong manner such that only half of my answers will be recorded by the system. At the time i panicked during the test but could do nothing about it, hoping it was just a needless worry. Questions were also not formatted well and a lot of doubtful parts came up to me, especially the light-headed me. I could not focus on solving things mentally and needed to spend time and write it ...