Resolutions of Life

The year is about to end and my results are about to be released. This year has been quite the joy ride, be it about school or relationships. Firstly, i stopped trying to ace everything in school. It does not mean that i am looking to fail or don't care, but rather it is an easier and happier. Second would be to know a wonderful girl. We are not officially together yet but i am hopeful. Third would be that i finally know what i want to do...and i am fully pursuing the path to that goal. That will be it for today.

If you can believe it, exams were over. Only weeks left till this year is done. I cannot say that i did well for the exams. In my own opinion, i could have done better. Slowly i am feeling a little bit sick of studying. I cannot wait for work, even if i am aware that i will hate it in the future. Next would be to plan for my time table for next year. I can't even begin.

In last than 3 weeks the finals will begin once more. Everything will be very tight and busy then. It was not like it has not been the case for the past few weeks. Last week was particularly packed because there were 2 quizzes, a homework and a lab report to be submitted. It was really busy and stressful. Coming Thursday there will be another midterms and another one next Monday. To top it off, there are homeworks and a representation with a 20 page report to be done next week. Also one more lab report to do, although it is trivial. I hope i can manage my time and stop playing around more. --- A friend of mine left this world on Sunday. I found out only yesterday night through social media. It was really scary to know that someone you met just passed away like that. He was a learnt person, who i dare say is an expert in his own field of study. Yet he maintained a humble and honest attitude, always learning. He helped me along when i was at my weakest, the times when i just ...

Let's start with the midterms that happened last week. --- It was those tests where you know that no matter how much you have studied for, it will turned up useless in the end. Though, i have to say that i made certain choices during revision than ended up hurting this exams. For example, i chose to give up writing one of the concepts down on my help sheet which ended up being tested. It was those kind of tests where no matter how much you write in the cheat sheet, it is not going to help a bit if unsure of how to use it. Too bad, i am getting wrecked hard. --- Last week was also the week of preparation for the presentation of Business Finance. The group was not very well coordinated and i had to step in and give instructions. The slides were being edited up to the very last minute and we went live. I would say that i did a little bit better in terms of presentation due to preparation. I wish i can say the same for my team mates. --- I guess that is all for now (I s...

2 weeks had passed since the last post. Quite a lot had happened since then. --- My first experiment came to an end and my partner and i went to the lab evaluation. Unlike in year 2 lab sessions where the evaluations were handled by senior students, in year 3 lab we were evaluated by actual professors. It was not as bad as it sounds. The professors guide us through the questions and we actually learnt something out of the questions asked. The start of the second experiment was a week ago. It was just running simulations off multiple computers. I don't think it will be hard. --- Took the Quantum Mechanics midterms 2 days ago. Overprepared was the word i would use to describe it if it ever existed. --- Right now, i need to prepare for the remaining midterms in 2 weeks, prepare my resume for submission for application of internship and also the research paper for my fabrication module. It will be one busy week.

Some kind of post drought had happened. I apologise...it has been really busy for me. Homeworks and assignments and tutorials and exams are all coming full-blown. Yet i am still finding time to play cards. Mmm. --- So recently i found myself liking a senior. Which is really weird since i have never talked to her before. However, i think i have lost whatever chances i have in talking. Whatever with this.

The past few days have been pretty crazy for me. I had the runs to the toilet every morning to relieve my stomach. It's all watery. Felt so ill i didn't feel like attending school. Good thing it was Union day on Thursday and that means no class. I used that entire day to catch up on my recorded lectures which i missed. I am feeling better now. At least i didn't need the toilet this morning. Hopefully it will stay like this.

I did the most crazy thing over the past weekend - getting into a trading card game. Last time i was in one was almost 5 years ago. It took a lot of my wealth back then. Just before i joined the army, i quit the game. I have no idea why i went in on this...but so far i am liking what i am playing. The bad thing is of course, i am spending money on getting boosters again. Talk about pay-to-win options. --- School is starting to get very tricky. Tons of presentations and homework are coming this way and Lab sessions begin once more from tomorrow on. I foresee i will be busy again. No idea why i chose this timing to start playing cards. Core modules aside, the business and economics modules are becoming troublesome too. However, it is a choice i made and i am resolved to see myself through this. I will persevere. --- It is bad but i am starting to find myself enamored for another lady...hopefully i will snap out of this soon.

School started on Tuesday. Even though i had hoped that school starts during the vacation, when it is really here i cannot help that it felt boring. Things are still in the low gear stage where nothing much is done. However, things will pick up fast next week onwards with the laboratory sessions and tutorials running. I went all-in and took 2 electives this semester, one of which essential if i want to get a Minor. I hoped that i can get through all this like a year ago. Speaking of which it has been really long since i took this much modules. Even as i am typing this i felt like giving up and just drop the courses...but how long can one run from? There is no other alternatives but to grit my teeth and give my all. --- Recently i am rather fascinated with a particular series of anime. Hopefully it won't consume my life entirely, especially in this period.

I feel like writing today. Or now, to be more specific. Started working in school once more. As usual with the starting academic year, we have bunch of clueless students (or simply trying to pull a stunt) coming into the office and asking for weird things. I just entertain them or let my superiors do it. Being exercising a lot more recently too. Went on the treadmill for a few times. The first time i did it i had no shoes on and i ran till i had blisters on my feet. That is some lesson. Did a lot of crunches too. I can feel the ache in my tummy. In addition, i also controlled my diet to a large extent. Just so that i do not have to run too much to offset the intake. School will begin next week. I wonder how much that will affect my schedule. Well, the feeling to write stopped.

Work ended. It was more like i backed out of it before the actual end date because i decided to make better use of my time i have for the last week of summer break. Wednesday i received an email for a recruitment drive for the banking and the finance sector. I am currently aiming to go for an internship for the next summer, so i guess i will be using next week to read up and prepare for the recruitment. I have no experience or knowledge about that particular sector so it will be especially tough but i will work hard to try and get in one. Quite some things to prepare for. Suits and maybe my resume. Since i want to give good impressions i am also trying to shave my weight for real. Hence, i went and walked from the train station to home after work these few days and went on the treadmill for half an hour earlier on this day. Hopefully all these work will pay off someday.

So a week had passed since the last post and i am here to update on my job and life while taking on the job. Every morning since Monday i woke up at 6.30am and prepare for departure towards the workplace. Since i live in the west side of Singapore and my workplace is located at nearly the heart of the island, i have to prepare and set aside an hour to travel. Been quite some time since i had to take public transport to work. Last time was 2012 when i was just released from the Army. It was still as unpleasant in the sense that the train will always be packed. It is to be expected now no matter the timing you take the train. The good thing is that i find people to be better mannered than when i experienced in 2012. Less pushing and staring. We generally move in the cabin and give way to the incoming passengers more. It is the one good thing that happened, among all things bad. After finding my way around the place, reached the building and met my supervisor. It would turned out la...

In less than 12 hours time i will be starting work. To be honest i did not really feel positive about working at this period of the year. School will start in 3 weeks time and it is all i have to rest then...but i guess i prefer to be doing something. Hopefully things will turn out better tomorrow.

Quite some time passed since the last post. Highlights were the annual in-camp training in my old camp. The one week was quite sick and disgusting for me. Working hours was almost 7 in the morning to 9 at night. Since i hold a higher appointment than my friends i did more. Got scolded a few times but i managed. Got thrown work a lot of times but i managed. Overall i survived stronger. Used this new phone of mine in camp and realised it is not a fast enough phone. Switched it once i got out of camp by the week. Saw my results for the special semester. Kind of meh~ However, my GPA increases again so i guess i should be happy about it. --- Been job-hunting the past week after the training. I mainly wanted to kill time since i have almost nothing much to do at home. Found one and it starts a week later. Hopefully it will be fine. --- Trying to ask the girl out for a date again...hopefully i am not in over my head.

Exams for the special semester ended on Friday. Overall i think i did not do badly. Vacation modules are easier to handle. I started to plan for my modules for the remaining time in school. It is a little hard to do so since it would mean that i need to find out about all the other course requirements before hand. They might also be updated with new requirements as time goes by. --- Went out with the old friends from college yesterday. Had buffet and watched a movie after that. I have never eaten so much meat for a really long time. The movie was not bad too. --- Time to rot until i had to return to camp next week.

I do not have much to say this time about what is going on. It is mainly just a post to discuss what has been on my mind. I am a little mentally ill. Or maybe a lot. The extent of this mental illness is unknown to me but since i can clearly feel what is wrong about it, i suppose it is quite severe. I have a very strong desire to compete with others. You can read that as a need to compare . To compare myself with another. To ensure i am always the better one. To know that i always have more. Something among those lines. It bugs the crap out of me to know that i lost to someone. Be it in games, in academics or in work. It really  does. I find this troubling. Probably a result of that superiority complex formed back in college where i am the best, now when things are not as good as the past i find it absolutely stressful. I really need to stop thinking in such a manner. --- That is all for today. I do have exams coming up this week so laters.

Since the last post 2 weeks ago, reasonably many things happened and passed. It is already the last week of the Special Term and in a few hours time, the last lecture will take place. ...but let's talk things one by one. --- First to start off would be the mid-terms happening. It was easily one of my worse mid-terms ever in school. I was sick with high fever, cough and flu, heavy on medications and did my examinations in a half-asleep state. This would come back and haunt me in short time... For a good example, only during my second test i realised that i answered the formatted answer sheet in a wrong manner such that only half of my answers will be recorded by the system. At the time i panicked during the test but could do nothing about it, hoping it was just a needless worry. Questions were also not formatted well and a lot of doubtful parts came up to me, especially the light-headed me. I could not focus on solving things mentally and needed to spend time and write it ...

I have been a little bit stressful this few days, thinking about several things that i did not actually thought that they would affect me so much. Let's go through the list. 1) New change in course registration direction. Ever since taking Accounting back into my studies, i have became rather interested in pursuing a Business minor in my degree and forsaking my previous Biophysics concentration. Is it worth it or not? Well, somewhen last week i had an epiphany that it was not like i hated Accounting after all. It is a skill i feel will be more reliable in the future and one that pays off better. Food for thought in the decision making. 2) Course registration itself. Class schedule for the next semester is out and i am currently thinking of taking 20 units worth of credits in my studies. I am not entirely sure if i will be able to cope with the studies but hey, i really might as well. The earlier i can clear my units, the more relaxed my later years will be...i hope. 3) Money....

Let's start off with my date. I had a date with my SP from way back February about a week ago. I was early by half an hour to get some flowers but it turns out that the florist was replaced by a supermarket. The directory of the mall was not updated the last time i checked. As a result, i have to look around the mall for some alternatives. Folder flowers was my next best alternative...or what i can find. She was a little late for the date. Apparently she took the wrong train and head towards the wrong direction. We met outside the cafeteria and went on with eating. We talked a lot during the date. It was not as the rumours would have it, that people who talk a lot over social media would be awkward when they meet in real life. I would say that for the both of us it was a lot less awkward. Unfortunately as she had been traveling for the past few days, she was quite tired and not able to do anything else. Hence, right after lunch i went ahead and escort her back. It was jus...

Exams were already all over. Overall i have a good feeling for all of them. This might just be that one semester where i could get high grades. Yet, something feels wrong. Have you ever been lost and not sure of what you want in life? Have you ever got confused midway through your path and felt that what you are currently doing contradicts what you currently want? It is weird and under no coincidence that i have come to feel this way. You see, it really scares me when times such as this occurs. I have an entirely new mindset all of a sudden and i cannot think why i walk my current path. I need some kind of new motivation.

I probably have took too long a break. Hello everyone. I am back. I suppose i have a lot of things to say. The problem is that after such a long period of time i have kind of forgot how to write this anymore. Plus, where do i start? --- Let's start with the results of last semester...speaking of which, this is the new semester already. It has been that long. For last semester, i supposed i did fairly decent considering the amount of effort i put into it. I guess i am really digging the part where fun and study does not have to be mutually exclusive. So far in this semester i am glad to say that it remains the same. Just let the flow get to you and soon you will know how to deal with it without a hassle. --- Alright, starting with the new semester. Let's first talk about my laboratory sessions...because i am really angry about it. Since this year i don't have much friends in the same session with me, i had to take a random, unknown stranger as my lab partner. I...