Resolutions of Life

Hello there, i'm already back from the book-out for 2 days, and about to head back in a few hours time. A lot is going through my mind this week. I had a lot of mental stress, almost break down, had a lot of suicidal thoughts and got through that. It makes me wonder if i had that kind of superior mentality that i thought i have - to endure all stress and hardships pressed on me, and stand up against the challenges. No. More than one time, in a few days, i had thoughts of killing myself...and they are so severe that i actually skipped out on lessons and teachings because "There's no point in listening since i'm going to die soon anyway". Really. I pictured myself a few days later, on the tenth floor of my building, struggling to climb over the railings to meet my demise. It would be painful, but i would have accomplished what i've always wanted: To put an end into a meaningless life. I was so prepared for it, even went all my way to plan when to do it. I would ...

Alright guys, i believe it is time for another update on what my NS life is currently. Since my last post, i've received an extremely last-minute notice that i'm posted to another camp. It came when i was listening to music on a bus, on Thursday. As i read the message of my posting details, my heart started to sink as i read where i'm posted to. Sungei Gedong camp. The camp is quite famous, due to the fact that it is located beyond several cemeteries of all sorts. Hence it is quite natural to expect horror stories from the others. To top it off, i'm required to stay in the camp. This means that i can only book out on Fridays, just like back then when i was having my BMT. I got lucky since my first day was on a Friday. Let's get on with how that day is... --- On Friday, my father drove me all the way to the camp entrance, i exited and started to walk into the compound. After exchanging passes, i got to my block after a 15 minutes walk. Reached the place earlier than ...

Well, nothing much have changed since last week. My situation hadn't changed by much, except for the fact that now the three other buddies have left, and i'm alone in the room. It's been 2 days and i already felt that i can't take it. There's completely nothing to do at all and i'm supposed to stay in the room by myself. At least it helped cultivate my reading habits again, there i don't have much complains about. Now i just hope that the screening process can pass faster, either fail me or pass me quick, i don't care about the outcome.

...ok this whole week is a joke. I'm not going to say much since all i've been doing is nothing. Getting a new rig soon.

Well, today is one big joke. Looks like i wasn't posted to Depot Road camp, but rather i was posted there to be re-posted to some other place. The morning started with me reporting and doing a lot of written tests, as well as the rather nostalgic DISC personality classification tests. After that i had interview. I'll not go into details here. Nearing the end, i was notified that i'm reporting to Bukit Gombak Camp. It's still a stay-out campsite plus it's nearer, so it shouldn't be much of an issue. Oh well, just to let you all know about this. See you for now.

Well, and it is already the last day of my long break. I'm starting work tomorrow as a ADMIN SUPPORT ASSIST in CDC at the Depot Road Camp (Don't ask me what those words in bold mean, i'm as clueless are you are). I'm quite sure it's a 9-5 job, so i guess i can carry out my plan to get a new gaming rig. I seen a lot of Starcraft 2 replays and i'm really interested in how the game works out. The graphics for the beta version alone is very beautiful and the game is reworked. What i can say for sure is that it's not going to be alike to its predecessor. Oh well, just a short post informing you people how things are for me. I'll be right back tomorrow about how the place is.

Well, normally i wouldn't want to post when it's a little too late into the night, but i guess every now and then i can do it...just for the fun of it. --- 31st May; Monday There's no big events from the morning till evening. That's when the old crew of Wei Jun, Astley, Kenneth and me got together. Those are good old days when we still play cards, fight monsters with our handheld consoles together. Nowadays, since i'm already into NS, and Kenneth is studying in his new school, it is really hard to get together now, even if just for idle chatter. Anyway, the day starts around late afternoon... Wei Jun was just back from his Taiwan trip since 4 weeks ago (He left when i'm still in the middle of my field camp). I went over to his house to have a look at the stuff he bought back as souvenirs. Seeing the things he bought, i really have no idea whether or not he's there for work or just plain having a vacation. From stickers to a remote control helicopter, there...