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Showing posts from February, 2009
Yeah, so i saw something and became a little rash. I lost all of my composure and just let my emotions continue my work. It was my fault. I thought i had already given up, apparently i had not. A little competition is enough to bring me back to that sad and pathetic state. I hate this. I really hate it. Prey to what i've built up myself - my feelings. I must never allow myself to run wild again. I'll never be touched. Ever.
It...certainly has been long. Long since i posted here that is. School had re-opened, and i'm back to my studies already. Of course, that really only meant that i need to comply to a timetable. Nothing else is changing. I think. ...and yet, i felt like i have lost my drive to go on studying. I've fallen sick after Chinese New Year. Had a really bad cough that just won't go away. For that i took 2 days of medical leave...it's a good thing that i pick the days without much lessons, but i think this also meant that i'm dodging a lot of things. Sometimes i just felt that, i'm not as smart as i think i am. But when i take the tests and examinations, the illusions build up again. That i can actually handle it. I wish i can ask her for help, but i'd think that it's better not to bother her anymore. I ran out of things to say. Pretty funny considering how long have i stayed away. ...and i wish all out there, a Happy Valentine's Day.