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We had a long and deep conversation yesterday night. Well, the fact is i still can't muster up the courage to call and talk to her directly, so i did text-messaging.

Initially i expected the topic to be two-sided...you know, ask each other about how their current life is, then comment and stuff like that. However, as the number of messages increase, it's more and more to her side. I'm perfectly fine with it, if not actually happy about it...for she is willing to share her troubles with me.

I think i learned a lot about her yesterday, what is she currently pursuing and what some of her obstacles she faced. I guess that her leaving Singapore is an inevitable ending, she's even gone so far as taking the entrance examinations for U.S. colleges. Perhaps this is why she doesn't want to get in relationship...i mean, if one has to leave sooner or later, why get attached together, let feelings bond, then leave to hurt the other party? Is that really what you're thinking? Then i also want you to know that, i'll wait. No matter how long, i will. That is how much i love her.

...but she's having troubles deciding. Apparently none of her female friends are going...i guess she's feeling lonely and hence having some confusions about leaving. In fact, i've heard that some of her friends actually wanted her to stay. Me too...but i guess i understood why she wanted to go overseas instead, and so i'd support her fully. As long as she's going to return here someday, i'll wait. If not, then i'll go overseas to look for her. I don't care how hard or difficult i have to work or slog it out, but i'll earn enough capital to look for her.

We texted each other for about 3 hours. There was a short pause when waiting for her reply, i thought i offended her in some way, so i frantically texted an apology to her. After some more time pauses, she texted back and said she was kind of busy doing some things. It's nice to know that she's willing reply even if she is busy. Honestly, i thought she was sad or something. It ended with her wishing good night...like i could actually sleep thinking all about what she said.

I put serious thoughts on thinking how to reply to her yesterday. There was this one part that i don't know what to say, but i guess i got it worked out. I doubt she'll see this, but:

"I believe people don't want you to leave and want you to stay here because they love you. Because they are afraid that you'll leave and never return. Because they're afraid that you'll forget about them, and that they'll never see you again. But i know who you are. I know that you'll not be like that. I know that you'll miss them even more. Therefore i'll give you my blessings. For your friends, it may be hard for them initially, but they'll learn to accept, they'll learn to adapt and they'll soon know, to look forward in meeting you again. Just don't forget their love for you."

---

Maybe i should do it again before she left...

---
"I loved you enough to let you go free."

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